


Remember Me, Love,

by Fzgoi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, First Meetings, Friendship, M/M, Mentioned Grandma English | Alpha Jade Harley, Mentioned Meenah Peixes - Freeform, Soulmates, to a degree
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28728015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fzgoi/pseuds/Fzgoi
Summary: You know, surely, that many people believe you’re born again when you die. And you know, surely, that many people believe a soulmate is a person we claim to have been made for. Did you know that sometimes, people remember their prior lives? That sometimes, people will seek out the reborn versions of those they loved long ago?In which Dirk Strider shares the times he's been reborn and found Jake English, whether they remembered each other and the lives they'd already lived or not.
Relationships: Jake English/Dirk Strider
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18
Collections: DirkJake Big Bang 2k21





	Remember Me, Love,

You know, surely, that many people believe you’re born again when you die. And you know, surely, that many people believe a soulmate is a person we claim to have been made for. Did you know that sometimes, people remember their prior lives? That sometimes, people will seek out the reborn versions of those they loved long ago?

I doubt you did until now.

But that is, essentially, the story of me and Jake English.

Honestly? I don’t remember many of my lives now. I only remember a few, but I’ll tell you about them, and then I’ll tell you about the only time I can remember a life with a legitimately happy ending.

It must have been about 150 years ago- I can just vaguely remember the time period. Sometime in the late 1870s, and I didn’t have any memory of who I’d been. I was still young back then, though not young enough for my father to tolerate my presence in his home much longer. At this point, he was pretty much sending me to any party he felt had a decent enough amount of fine, well off ladies in attendance. What he didn’t know, though, was that it wasn’t a lady who’d strike my fancy- but a handsome fellow who can only be defined as purely eccentric.

If memory serves correctly- and I’m sure it does- I was attending a pretty small party being thrown by an acquaintance of mine, Meenah Peixes. Her mother was an extraordinarily wealthy woman who often had meetings with my father, part of the town board. He never told me what exactly his job entailed, just that it was nothing for me to worry about just yet; to focus on finding a suitable young lady and marry her first.

Anyway, Meenah was getting married in a half-year’s time, and her mother was throwing a relatively small party for her daughter. Keep in mind, though, that when I say relatively small I mean relatively small for a Peixes party, meaning there were still dozens of people I’d never met in my life. My father hoped such a situation would force me to talk to people.

I wasn’t very well-suited for parties or socializing or meeting people. Rather, I holed up inside myself and refused to introduce myself unless I had to, and even then I was often reluctant. I was excessively introverted, and I think I was scared of rejection, too.

Not to mention I was just slightly to the left of what people expected of me. I was messier than my father had wanted me to be. I was far more impulsive than either he or I hoped I would turn out to be. I had new ideas that people didn’t hear very often, especially not from the son of a fairly wealthy townsman. I was worried that I would end up disappointing people, or that they would otherwise dislike me.

So imagine my surprise when a young man about my age not only made direct eye contact with me but held it for several seconds, a half-smile on his lips from his prior conversation. And imagine my surprise when not twenty minutes later he follows after me as I sneak out into the back garden of the Peixes household.

Before he came out, though, I took a deep breath of the cool air- it was early fall, and the leaves were still green, but the air was fresh and had just a bit of cold to it that made you wonder how long it would be until the branches were bare again. Ahead of me was a small path that led to a fountain- it was probably my favorite place to be at the Peixes’. I used to go out there while my father talked to Meenah’s mother and read whatever novel I’d snatched from my father’s shelves that week.

Meenah would come out with me, too, and we’d sit together in silence or she’d tell me about whatever crossed her mind while I gazed at the clouds. But that’s beside the point; too much time has passed in my life for me to try and tell you about every passing memory.

There wasn’t a Meenah on that day; nobody came out with me and stared at the sky with me. Just the fountain in the Peixes’ back garden and the statue atop it, which had always reminded me of a weird skeletal pirate. I dunno why Meenah’s mom had chosen that particular design for it, but she had. I’d never seen it before at night, and now it seemed to be glowing in the light of the lamps, bathed in a yellow glow.

I went out to the other side of the fountain, the one facing away from the house, and I sat on the edge of the fountain.

A minute later, I heard the footsteps of a man coming around the other side. The man from earlier had come out and sat beside me- which to you should come as no surprise, but I was almost shocked he remembered seeing me to begin with.

We sat there for several long minutes, just looking between each other and the forest and the sky.

“Hi,” He broke the silence first, turning toward me, “I’m Jake English. I live just a short way from here. And you are?”

I turned to him just slightly, looking at him to see if this was some weird joke.

It didn’t seem to be.

“...Strider. Dirk Strider.” I responded, resting a hand on the fountain. “I’m an acquaintance of Meenah’s from when we were younger.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Dirk Strider.”

Cue a short but awkward silence.

“I suppose it’s been nice to have met you so far, too, Jake English.”

“You don’t look like you’re very comfortable here, chap.” He sounded like he was genuinely wondering, rather than making a rude-though obvious- observation.

“To tell the truth, I’m not here by choice. If I had it my way I’d never have left my room this evening.” No use lying; not very likely I’d see him again.

There was a beat as we both stopped talking to think about that.

“Mr. Strider,” Jake began after a moment, “Would you like to see something I think is rather fascinating?”

The proposition was completely out of the blue- First off, we’d never met before this. Second, the suggestion was almost obviously going to get a “no” from me. And lastly, we were both here to half-celebrate the upcoming union of two people.

As much as I wanted to decline the offer, my curiosity was piqued. I did want to know what he found so fascinating he’d offer to show someone he’d never met, and I was also bored and out of place in the Peixes’ manor.

“If you don’t like it you don’t have to stay, I’ll walk you back over here as soon as you ask me to.” Jake smiled at me and held out his hand. “What do you say?”

I stared at him for a moment, weighing my options. Stay here and stare at the sky pointlessly until midnight. Go back inside and shrink away from any social interaction. Or… go with this stranger and see what he’s so excited to share.

I put my hand in his and let him help me up.

“Alright, follow me.” He said before he started at a brisk pace.

I noticed he didn’t let go of my hand, just grabbed it. His hand was lighter than mine, I noticed, and his fingers were a little thicker. He walked fast, tugging me along behind him. He wasn’t lying when he said that he lived nearby; he pointed out his house as we got to the front of the Peixe’s manor. I guess really what I should say is that he pointed to the top of a tower standing over his home.

“That’s your place?”

“Yeah; that big ol’ tower is where my grandmother used to do her experiments. She never told me much about what it was she did up there, just that she was looking into the stars. She’d get distracted up there some nights and fall asleep up there.” He looked up toward the stars as he spoke. “Sometimes she’d bring these big pieces of parchment down and look at them on our back patio. I remember she told me once that she was trying to map the sky.”

“Oh. Uh- the biggest thing my family’s ever done is be part of the local government.” I wiggled my hand out of his as we went around the side of his house. “My dad’s in some political position of some sort.”

“I never really got to know my parents,” Jake responded. “They died when I was really little, and my grandmother had to raise me. Once I was old enough to go out walking on my own, though, she sorta let me do my own thing. I ended up exploring the back of our woods with a friend a lot.”

“Oh. I’m sorry about your parents.”

“It’s alright, it happened a long time ago.” He says, leading me back to a thick tree line behind his house.

The lighting was fine until now, with the street lamps casting our shadows on the road. It was even fine behidnd his house, though I can’t say it was optimal. But back here, as we stepped between tree trunks, it felt like it was so dark anything could hide behind his house. He reached back as we walked, and before the forest was completely shrouded in darkness, I took it, letting him guide me.

I stumbled a few times, nearly falling on my face in the darkness as Jake pulled me along. I trusted he knew where we were going, but I couldn’t say I actually knew. I was a little worried that he was going to take me back behind his house and leave me there ‘til morning or kill me or something.

“We’re almost there.” He said, stepping over something I soon discovered to be a log.

Not too many steps after that, we stepped past a wall of ivy and he stopped. I could see a little light illuminating us, but it was veiled, and I couldn’t see much. I stopped too, looking at Jake. I could tell he had a hand on a rock surface, and it looked like there was a large hill above us. I didn’t realize we’d walked so far.

Jake let go of my hand, pulling back whatever was disguising the light source. When he did, I felt a soft breeze, and the area ahead of me got brighter. I peeked into where the light was coming from, seeing a small cave with weird glowing crystals. There was water too, and a small waterfall. I wondered for a second how safe this was- there wasn’t any telling how safe the water was, how structurally sound the cave was, or where the water was coming from. Jake stepped past me, though, walking into the cave. As I followed him, I saw that it wasn’t as small as I thought- the cave continued on for a while in one direction after taking a corner, but the light dimmed out a bit away, and I couldn’t see what was over there. The water continued, too, but it seemed like the roof got lower and lower where it continued, almost like it was connected to a system of underwater caves.

I had to wonder for a few more moments just how safe this was. After all, who’s to say it’s not being used as a bear’s den, or that there’s not a swarm of bats or hives of wasps just a small way deeper into the cave?

As if he could sense my doubts, Jake spoke up. “No worries, Dirk. It should be safe. I’ve come in here almost every day since I found it, and I’ve never found anything dangerous. Well, aside from the wasps I found two summers ago, but they were far deeper in.”

Still, I couldn’t help but worry. The cave could collapse at any moment, for all I knew, or something or someone could come running in from further in the cave.

“Where’s that wind coming from?” I asked, turning in the direction of the darker path into the cave.

“Oh, I’m not sure! I’ve never found another entrance, though I’ve found a couple more little lakes deeper in.”

I waited, staring down that dark corridor, waiting for something to pounce out at me.

A small splash shook me out of my thoughts, and I swiveled around on my heel out of instinct. Jake was nowhere to be seen. I approached the water slowly, looking around for him.

“Jake?” I hollered out, hearing my own voice echo back to me.

Another splash made me jump, and I turned to see Jake shaking his head as he came up from the water.

“Fuck!”

Jake chuckled softly under his breath as he kept shaking, water flinging off his face and his afro at me. “Not quite!”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

“Did I scare you? I’m sorry chap; I’d’ve told you I was getting in but I figured I’d take the time to strip to my undergarments while you were distracted.” He told me, nodding at his clothes and glasses, which were tossed haphazardly near the entrance.

“You didn’t scare me. I just don’t particularly want to be blamed if you die and I don’t really want to be left stranded in a cave in the dark.”

Jake grinned at me and walked over to me, still in the water. “Whaddaya think? It’s a neat little spot, isn’t it?”

“It’s certainly interesting.” I responded, looking around again.

“You should get in! The water’s a bit chilly, but it’s rather nice!” He said, smiling up at me.

“No.” Was all I said in response, raising an eyebrow at him.

He splashed a small amount of water at me, just barely getting the tips of my shoes wet. I raised my eyebrow higher at him, and he took a step back and raised both of his at me.

“Please, Dirk? It’s not very fun to wade in the water alone.” He responded, splashing water back and forth between his fingers.

I paused for a moment, and then sighed. “Fine.”

Jake grinned at me again and then turned around for me to take off my outer layers. I folded up my jacket, shirt, and pants, placing them neatly by Jake’s, and then I started walking back towards the small body of water, dipping a foot in. I sat down on the ledge and peered over to make sure I wouldn’t step on anything, and then I pushed myself over he ledge and let myself fall in. My feet hit the bottom as the bottom of my neck hit the top of the water, splashing water out around me. Jake turned around as water hit the top of his head.

“How come you’re still wearing your glasses? Surely your eyesight can’t be worse than mine.” He asked, tilting his head.

“It’s not a necessity. Just a choice. Nobody gets to see my eyes.” I responded.

He considered this for a moment, and then shrugged.

“Alright, I guess. I can respect that.”

There was an awkward silence between us, as we both stood there in the chilly waters, strangers in our undergarments.

“Can I ask you something, Dirk?”

“I suppose you can, Jake.”

“What do you think comes after this life?”

It was a loaded question to ask someone on the first night you meet them.

“Hm. I suppose I don’t know. I’ve never given it very much thought, to be honest with you. My father has always wanted to instill Christianity in me, but I guess it never took, ‘cause I don’t really believe in anything. I certainly don’t pray.”

Jake almost looked displeased with my response, like he was hoping for something different.

“Why, Jake? What do you believe? I’d guess it’s solid Christianity, or something? You look like you’re disappointed in me.”  
“I- uh… Well, Dirk, I suppose I believe that when you die, you’re born again. You get a second chance at this- at doing it all right. Not your whole life starting over, but like being born into a new family in a new place with new circumstances.”

“That’s… an interesting idea, I’ll admit.”

I hate to interrupt my own story, but it’s worth it to mention- he’s not wrong. But in that life, in the 1870s, it was doubtful I was gonna believe him.

There was another beat of silence.

“Wow, Jake. It’s really fucking cold in here.” I broke the silence first this time, announcing the obvious.

“Yeah, sorry. It’s the first time it’s been this cold so far.”

“Have you ever looked into where all this water comes from?”

“No, not really. I’m pretty darn certain there’s two places though, because once the waterfall was stopped but the water was pretty high. I tried diving down once, but the channel gets thin a little lower.”

“Huh. That’s weird.” And you said you’ve never found another entrance?”

“Yep!”

It got quiet between us again, and we spent a good minute just looking at each other.

“Where do you live, Dirk? How do you know Meenah?” He spoke up, fiddling with his sleeve.

“Oh, I know Meenah from when I was little. My father used to need to come over to talk to her mother, probably about something government related, and her and I would hang out. Sometimes people would stop by and say how much we looked like siblings, sitting on the front porch talking and sharing spoils she’d stolen from the kitchen.”

Honestly, we looked the part too. We both had dark skin and our faces looked similar when we were younger, though I’ve grown up more since then. Not to mention we hung out around each other long enough to steal vocabulary from time to time.

“You sound like you were close.” Jake responded, looking at me softly.

“Yeah. We were. When we were younger. But that was a pretty long time ago now. What about you? Do you just know her since you live so close?”

“Sorta,” Jake put his hand on the back of his neck. “Our friend circles kinda dance around each other- in a fun way. We’re not close, but we hang out sometimes. I’d say we know each other, but I was probably mostly invited because she knows I can talk to just about anybody, and if most of her friends are as intraverted as you, I can see why she’d want more outgoing attendees.”

“Oh- should you have stayed there, then? After all, if all her friends are as introverted as I am, shouldn’t you be there to keep people talking?” I raised an eyebrow at him as I parroted him.

“Well, Dirk, to be honest, I like big events, but I wanted to spend some time talking to you. You looked lonely back at Meenah’s.”

While I wasn’t really shocked or offended by what he was saying, I still felt like I had to stick up for myself.

“Lonely? What makes you think I was lonely?”

Jake mimicked me in raising an eyebrow. “Well, for starters, the lack of conversation around you. Secondly, there’d be the avoidance of any eye contact. Third, the fact that you tried to slip away from the Peixes’ manor and into their back garden so you could, presumably, stare at the stars.”

It was annoying that he was, in all honesty, right.

“I’m aware you had little choice in whether or not to come. I’m sure your father urged you to come, given that you seem to be of age to court and marry someone. And I can guess just fine that you’ll likely not find such a person soon. So if you can’t find someone at Meenah’s party, you may as well have made a friend. Right?”

Jake was pretty good at convincing me to stop being annoyed at him, even if he was just talking.

“Well then, Jake. I may not have met a future spouse tonight, but I’ve certainly made a friend.” I held my hand out just above the water as I spoke.

The smile Jake gave me as he took my hand and shook it was contagious, I’m sure. We ended up getting out of the water just a short bit later, freezing our asses off. He started shaking like he had done before, and I followed suit, flinging water off my dreads and onto the walls of the cave. We laughed at the sheer nonsensicality of it, and then we got dressed back to walk to the Peixes’ home.

Before we stepped out, though, I tore off a small crystalline chunk growing off the cave wall- it was difficult to snap off, but the rocks around it must’ve been loose to begin with, because it did indeed come off. I lugged it back to Jake, and carried it with us to light the way through the dense forest.

I hid it in the Peixes’ fountain when we got back.

There’s more, technically, that I could tell you. But it’s not important to the story of Jake and I. That was the first and final time we interacted in that lifetime, and it suffices to say we were reborn again a year or two later. I’d be sad that we didn’t get more time, but I’m fine enough with the night we got.

There were other lives to live, anyway, and more than one of them ended with us getting to be together for some expanse of time with nothing bad happening. I would like to think that Jake English is, for me, a soulmate, someone I’m destined to find as many times as I can.


End file.
